By the second week of the contest Dan will be looking like an out of work young Santa Claus. A fiery redbeard should make him a serious competitor.
ODDS - 10:1
After Matt shaved for the first time in 4 years he awoke to screams as his Fiancee realized she's engaged to a 16 year old. Intense pressure to re-age himself will make it possible for him to take the title.
ODDS - 3:1
Brian's wife wouldn't allow him to compete in the competition until Nick Balletta called her and negotiated his way in. He'll be forced to shave the first time he has to walk to the curb to get the newspaper. No chance of finishing.
ODDS - 31:1
Disqualified FOR SHAVING - 12/3
Peter better hope Old Spice really does grow hair on anything it touches or he has no chance of winning the overall best beard. Better stock up.
ODDS - 28:1
Hours spent watching "Reign of fire" starring Christian Bale AND Matthew Matthew McConaughey (frame by frame) will no longer be in vain as this man strives for the secret to the ultimate manly man's beard.
ODDS - 12:1
It's a little known fact that back in college in Mumbai his nickname was MachoNish. In his senior year it was changed to the Big MachoNish. A legitimate threat to take it all.
ODDS - 9:1
Mr. Clepper is worried that too much facial hair could ruin his chances of the lead role in the upcoming American Dad live action movie. His beard potential is unknown.
ODDS - 15:1
DJ Tony mugs will be spinnin records Grizzly Adams style within 2 weeks. Hopefully his Texas upbringing can stomp out the Rodeo Drive conditioning but only time will tell. The minute he starts searching for Versace Cowboy hats - it's over.
ODDS - 12:1
Shaved head + full beard = Change name to Boris and move to Siberia. By competition end Greg should be able to bring back the USSR on his own.
ODDS - 13:1
He's already dug the hole in his basement where he'll keep Pat Muckian locked up rubbing Just For Men formula on his beard... until it's time to "borrow" his award winning face mane.
ODDS - 7:1
This man simply has to sneeze and unrestrained Albanian machismo oozes out of him in the form of a Mantastic beard. He'll be leading at the end of week one and then trail off as he can't keep up with burly beard sleepers.
ODDS - 13:1
With a very slight head-start on the rest of the competition Moazzam is advised to get to the airport at least 8-9 hours before any flights scheduled in the next month.
ODDS - 6:1
This man is so patriotic his beard is going to grow in red, white, AND blue. It's going to be difficult to get into clubs for bottle service when you look like moses.
ODDS - 14:1
If this was the Super Macho Tuff Giant Purple Knitted sweater charity competition this guy would have it locked up. For those that don't get this joke Bill has promised to wear said sweater to the judging.
ODDS - 20:1
When he found out the contest is for charity he called the non-profit to negotiate his commission.
ODDS - 29:1
Disqualified FOR SHAVING - 12/17
This man plans on growing a beard thick enough to paste some left overs on his head. A burly beard sleeper pick. If he switches to a Ming the Merciless look he'll take the style award.
ODDS - 5:1
Justin shaved on the spot when he showed up with a beard to the start of the competition. That's dedication. Hopefully a pending job at Santa's workshop in Macy's won't force him to shave.
ODDS - 8:1
Travis needs this competition to be over soon if he's to have any shot at being the guitarist in a new Ramone's cover band.
ODDS - 17:1
Michael has promised us that his after picture will look 100% the same as his before picture without the assistance of a razor for the entire contest. To be sure Chuck Norris will be making random checks at Mr. Grant's house. Remember Chuck Norris doesn't sleep...he waits.
ODDS - 30:1
Disqualified FOR SHAVING - 12/12
Not having to shave in the morning is going to save Andrew precisely 00:00:00 minutes every morning. In true Chicago fashion he's going Mike Ditka mustache right off the bat and will now hold all client meetings at a hot dog cart on Navy pier.
ODDS - 27:1
Charles has decided to sleep through the rest of the Miami Dolphins season in hopes he'll awake with a Rip Van Winkle style beard.
ODDS - 22:1
It's a little known fact that Monty regularly removes his hair and uses it as a beard every Saturday when his Civil War troupe meets up for battle re-enactments.
ODDS - 23:1
When Jon isn't reading the Catcher in the Rye he listens to voices from his dog Harry. Harry told him he must win this contest.
ODDS - 21:1
For a man who lives with 3 days of perpetual scruff on his face this contest would appear to be a slam dunk. If we can get him to put back on 50 lbs and wear his fat albert polo shirt the Magnum PI bonus contest will be fantastic.
ODDS - 2:1
One of two contestants allowed to begin the competition with a slight headstart, Mikhail will need a ZZ Top-esque beard to have any hope at winning the contest. There is a slight chance we'll change the rules and allow 'Feats of strength' for bonus points in which case he can carry the refridgerator on his back down the hallway and back for MANpoints.
ODDS - 24:1
As part of his alter-ego, "Dances with Quickbooks", Gary is able to commune with his Puerto Rican ancestors to give him a beard boost. As his macho level increases expect lots of "Yo soy Boricua!" shouting from his office. We're expecting a big surprise here.
ODDS - 4:1
Disqualified FOR SHAVING - 12/3
If there was a phone number this man could call to speak with his hair follicles there's no doubt they'd grow him a biblical beard overnight and cut him a check (Over night, FedEx) for the trouble. Unfortunately this is not the case and we're expecting a strong Shaggy from Scooby Doo resemblance.
ODDS - 26:1
He's already got the glasses, the shirt and his halloween euro jeans. Add a beard and we've got the start of "Bee Gees 2008". This man odds are low but there is potential.
ODDS - 26:1
Steve better hire Mr. T as a personal beard trainer. Don't laugh, if you know Steve you know this is entirely possible. And yes, we mean the actual Mr. T.
ODDS - 11:1
The night before the contest ends we're expecting a late night phone call that will include the following elements: Accident, Ryans Pub, 3rd degree burns, an angry goat, and a cheese grader.
ODDS - 18:1
Another contestant that will require constant check-ups by our on-site judge, Chuck Norris. So while you're curled up comfy in bed each night remember that Chuck Norris uses a night light. Not because Chuck Norris is afraid of the dark, it's because the dark is afraid of Chuck Norris.
ODDS - 20:1
Zack ran 60 blocks from the Shiny Metal Assets world headquarters when he heard about this contest. In 21 days from now who's gonna be the man at that week's Dungeons and Dragons tournament when he shows up AS the wizard Gandolf.
ODDS - 19:1
A late entry! Matt wanted in on this contest so bad he broke into a Times Square trinket shop at 3am, took his own passport photo, and submitted it to the Macho Tuff Committee. Rumors are swirling that he may try and cheat to win. Reporters should look for burnt cork around his desk just prior to judging. Odds are hurt badly by the late start.
ODDS - 32:1
The man, the myth, the legend. Vegas has this man at even odds to take the competition. It is rumored that Kevin's beard will be so manly Paul Bunyan will be at the judging looking for an autograph. Macho quotient is going to be so high he will only drink Aqua Velva at mealtime.
ODDS - 1:1
